Journaling Instruction: Reduce the Rage

This journal instruction was written specifically for someone struggling with raging against their loved ones through text. I'm including it here because it a good protocol for anyone who has a problem with anger (or any destructive urge such as substance abuse) and taking it out on their loved ones.

It may not make sense for anyone who doesn't understand the role of affect and the different affective networks like Rage, Fear, or Grief. If you are a client of mine then you should find this useful. If you are not but desperate for help, give the post a shot and if you have questions please feel free to contact us via email or phone. Now as they say, on with the show.

The purpose of the journal in anger management

The purpose of your journal is to help you redirect the energy that normally expresses itself as rage and turn it into reflection. When you feel the impulse to reach out and hurt someone, to send your anger toward outward, that’s your cue to open the journal instead.

Step 1: Ground the Journaling in the Present Moment

This is a very important step for you specifically. In order that your journal doesn't become just another means to ruminate we need to use it build up other psychological muscles. Like being in the present moment.

Start by orienting yourself to the here and now. Use this prompt to begin your entry:

“Right now, at (time) on (day) in (place), I’m sitting with my journal and holding the (color of the pen) pen”

Don't skip this step. If you bring a journal, or record an audio journal, that doesn't start with the above prompt then we get an "F" on the assignment.

Step 2: Ground the Event Being Journaled About

Ground the rise of the feeling that led to the journal. In your case it will likely be anger. Grounding means setting the scene for when the feeling first appeared.

“I was driving home from her place (what you were doing when the affect appeared), just 20 minutes ago (or whatever time and day it happened)”

This helps pull the experience out of rumination and into embodied awareness. It moves it from that looping Left-Ventral pattern into Right-Ventral processing, where it can actually be integrated.

Step 3: Now Free Write

Let yourself write freely for a paragraph. No censoring. Just let the thoughts and emotions come out. This is your stream-of-consciousness release.

Step 4: Validate the Anger

Once that paragraph is done, pause. You’ve emptied the surface layer. Now shift into reflection.

Validate yourself, Yeah, I’m really angry right now, and validate that it’s okay. But don't stay on anger, because you might just fall back into the rumination pattern.

Step 5: Turn with Curiosity Towards the Other Feelings

Then start turning inward with curiosity and towards the other feelings that might be present and unexpressed.

This is a very important step because it's the other affective energies that aren't getting expressed. They are being neglected because anger is getting all the attention and therefore they continue to churn in the background.

If there is fear then why might I be afraid? Try to avoid psychodynamic interpretation. Stay with the Situation triggering the powerful affect.

Give some ink to answering the question. You might need to slow down and imagine possible reasons why you might feel sadness in the situation.

If there is sadness then why might I be sad? Again try and avoid psychodynamic interpretation. Keep it to: what about this Situation makes me sad?

This helps pull the experience out of rumination and into embodied awareness. It moves it from that looping Left-Ventral pattern into Right-Ventral processing, where it can actually be integrated.

Step 6: Rinse and Repeat

Now that you’re in contact with the emotion, open it up on the page. For example:

“If I feel sad, it’s because I feel hopeless. Like I'll never change and I will end up losing the people I love the most."

Write what feels true as it concerns the possible presence of sadness or fear. Repeat it if it helps. Let the writing show you what’s alive underneath the surface turbulence of anger.