Coping Skill: The Vagal Break

There might be as many coping skills as there are stars in the sky.

But I think you only need one or two. Because when it comes to helping your nervous system settle down, remember: quality over quantity.

To that end, I would like to introduce you to my favorite coping skill. It's called the Vagal Brake.

It's my favorite because it's easy to do, builds intention, and helps us not to lose our minds. Most of all, it works for most of us, and I'll explain why at the end.

Here's a step-by-step version from the text where I first met it, The Polyvagal Theory (2011) by Stephen Porges.

The Vagal Break step-by-step

1. Sit upright with your feet on the floor. Let your shoulders relax. Relax your jaw.

2. Place one hand flat on the center of your chest. (Optional: the other hand on your belly.)

3. Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds. Keep the inhale smooth and quiet.

4. Pause at the top of the breath for 1 second.

5. Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6-8 seconds (like you are cooling soup).

6. At the end of the exhale, pause for 1-2 seconds.

7. Repeat steps 3-6 for 10 cycles (this takes about 2-4 minutes.)

While you are doing the exercise, add a soft "mmm" hum on the exhale.

If you feel lightheaded then shorten the exhale slightly to 6 seconds and continue gently.

Finish by taking one normal breath in and out and looking around the room to name 3 neutral objects you see.

Why this works so well

There are a couple of reasons this coping skill is so effective. The first is that it directly harnesses your nervous system, specifically the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS).

The SNS is what we often think of as our “fight-or-flight” system. I like to think of the PNS as the restore-and-adore system, because it supports both biological restoration and social connection.

Every time you breathe in, the SNS ramps up slightly, while the PNS eases off.

And, you guessed it, every time you breathe out the opposite happens. The PNS becomes more active, while the SNS settles down.

So which one do you want more of? Do you want the stress response to go up (breathe in) or the relax response to go up (breathe out)?

Of course, we want to relax. That’s why we take longer, controlled exhales. Doing so puts a brake on the stress response and increases the nervous system’s capacity to settle.

Using a real human superpower

I think of it as a superpower because we are using our intention, our willed attention, to directly influence our biology!

Pause for a moment and let that sink in.

I don't know if we can manifest hair growth, money in the bank, or a parking spot next to the store. I don't think the mind works that way. But in this case, the mind has real power.

We can literally put the brake on the stress response while increasing our ability to calm ourselves and think clearly.

The quick and dirty version

I probably use this version twenty times a day. When I worked in the inpatient psych ward I probably used it a thousand times a day.

Here's how it goes:

Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds. Make sure it's a big breath because you are going to need it for the long exhale.

Exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 seconds.

Repeat 6-8 times.

It works the same as the longer version because the biology is the same. When we breathe in the stress response increases slightly. When we breathe out, the relaxation response increases while the stress decreases.

If you have young children, you may notice how they catch their breath when they're startled. That is their nervous system in action.

Feel free to do the "quick and dirty" version liberally. I use it in grocery stores, elevators, at the gym when someone doesn't put their weights back on the rack, etc.

There are no side effects, except feeling more calm and focused.

One caveat

Every once in a while, I meet someone who finds this exercise difficult at first. Instead of calming down, they become more anxious.

In my experience, this might happen because they are carrying unresolved developmental trauma.

I teach this coping skill at the first meeting because it's so effective, and it can reveal if a different therapeutic approach is needed.

If you try this and notice yourself beginning to panic, stop the exercise and leave it alone for a bit. It will wait until you are ready and there are other skills that might work better for you. I'll introduce a few after the article on the senses.

Until then, you're welcome to give me a call and tell me about your experience. If you live in the Houston area, I may be able to help you feel better quickly. And even if you don't, I'm happy to talk with you about what kinds of therapy might be most helpful for what you're facing.