I want to talk about what’s probably the most important idea I can offer. It’s something that’s critical to good therapy, and honestly, it’s critical to happy relationships and raising happy, healthy children. In many ways, this idea represents what separates humans from all other species. It’s how we moved from being somewhere in the bottom half of the food chain to shaping the planet. I call it The Third . The term ‘The Third’ originates from Jessica Benjamin’s work on inte

This journal instruction was written specifically for someone struggling with raging against their loved ones through text. I'm including it here because it a good protocol for anyone who has a problem with anger (or any destructive urge such as substance abuse) and taking it out on their loved ones. It may not make sense for anyone who doesn't understand the role of affect and the different affective networks like Rage, Fear, or Grief. If you are a client of mine then you sh

Everything Is About Energy Management I want to talk about energy and affect, the way energy is expressed in our body, how it becomes affect, and how the mind then parses that affect into what we call emotions. This post is meant as a big-picture overview, like putting all the tools on the table before we start building. We’ll go deeper into each part later, but for now, let’s open the box and take a look at what’s inside. In one sense, everything about being human is about e

Everything is movement. Everything. That’s where we want to start. Because if you can really take that in, not just as an idea but as something you feel, then what we're about to say will make much more sense. Everything is moving. Every atom in your body, every cell, every thought. The planet under your feet is spinning, orbiting, and wobbling through space. The air around you is swirling. The people in your life are changing, growing, struggling, loving. And you, right now,

Anything worth doing, is worth doing badly. You might have heard me say this during our session. Well, in an effort to not re-invent the...